He’s been working…

I know I’ve been relatively silent this month.  At different times on different days, I would think, “I really need to post a blog….but on what?”  That’s just how it is sometimes–inspiration just doesn’t strike.  But my silence does not mean, like last time, that life has been so hard that I just couldn’t write about it.  Nor does it mean that absolutely nothing has been going on.

On the contrary, life has been pretty good at the Hall house lately.  We started the year off freshly rested from our cruise-for-just-the-two-of-us, and somehow we were able to carry that “We’re resting and relaxing and we’re not going to get upset about stuff” mentality forward.  I’ve felt a strong leading from the Holy Spirit to remain steadfast, refuse to freak out about every little wind that comes my way, and trust in the Lord to take care of us, and He has poured on the grace to help me maintain this attitude.  So those two mindsets combined have made the first 25 days of 2012 relatively peaceful for me.

This is not due, however, to an absense of “issues.”  Church drama continues, as church drama will.  However, Clay and I are really excited and encouraged about the leadership qualities in our new interim.  He seems to have the wisdom and experience necessary to deal with our issues, and I’m hopeful that we can resolve many things while he is with us.  Money issues are always with us, as they are with everyone, with medical bills still in a pile and none of our other bills taking a break while the medical bills are being addressed.  But He is faithful, and my attitude, through His grace, has been one of quiet trust.

He has been really working through the books that I’ve been reading.  I finished Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic in lightning speed, and I highly recommend it to anyone raising small children, especially if you have a passel of them like I do. It was just a super reminder to look at every moment with my kids through eyes of love instead of frustration.  I’m now reading Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick, and the principles in this book would remove the burden off of any parent’s back, I would think.  Another strong recommendation!  Also, I’m leading a ladies’ Bible study using A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and even though I’ve already broken my goal of spending some amount of time every day reading Scripture, this book is stirring my soul to sweeter communion with the Lord each day.  I love spending time in books written by such saints, and He never fails to minister to me through them.

And of course, He is always working on me through my family.  Every day presents countless opportunities to lay down my life for them, opportunites that I miss far too often, I’m afraid.  But everytime He enables me to see those opportunities for what they truly are–a chance to become more like Christ, a chance to die to myself, a chance to love my precious ones–I am the one who is blessed through my service.  I just pray that I would seize these opportunities more and more each day.

So, while I’ve been silent, He’s been working.  Working in my family, in my church, in my heart.  What has He been working for you so far in 2012?

Things I’ve learned…in the past month

*  Christmas is like Halloween on steroids as far as candy goes.  Between Christmas parades, Christmas parties, “last class before Christmas” nights, Christmas stockings, Christmas activities at church–multiply all of that by five children and Willy Wonka is at our house scratching his head in amazement at our own private candy stores.  Good thing I have a stockpile of toothpaste!

*  Sending Clay out to cut our own Christmas tree sounded like a much better idea before it actually happened.

                *  Sub-point:  clear all small children and animals out of the room before your husband drags in the tree that he cut down.  If you fail to do this, you may not be able to find them for awhile.  When you do find them, you will be picking cedar splinters out of their skin for the next several hours.

 

*  Just because you finally got a tree that fits inside your house and got it in the stand and gave a half-hearted attempt at decorating it and it stood there for four whole days with no incidents, doesn’t mean that it’s not going to fall completely over on day five.

 

*  A family of seven traveling for ten days will require more than a five piece luggage set.

 

*  Our family is incredibly blessed to have four “family” celebrations plus four or five dear friends who loved on us this year with gifts–multiply all of that by five children and Geoffrey the Toys R Us Giraffe is at our house scratching his head in amazement at our own private toy stores.

 

*  When a mom and a dad leave their five children at home while they go on vacation for five days and four nights all by themselves, they will spend the first day reminding each other that they don’t have to get a highchair, ask the backseat if it needs to potty, or check to see if the bathroom has a diaper changing station.

*  When Mapquest tells you that it will take fifteen hours and nineteen minutes to drive from Somerset, KY to Ft. Lauderdale, FL, you should check the fine print to see if they wrote that on April Fool’s Day.

*  When they tell you that your timeshare tour will take two hours, they mean if you buy it, it will take two hours.  If you tell them no, it will take four hours because they will keep getting someone else to try to convince you why you’re being stupid to tell them no.

*  You will see all sorts of people on a cruise, especially one of the cheaper two-night cruises.  Enough said.

*  Not much is more relaxing than lying on a sunny afternoon on an almost empty beach with your best friend.

*  Gators in the swamp look really cool until they swim right up within chomping distance.

*  Not much is more relaxing than sitting past sunset on an almost empty beach with your best friend.

*  When Mapquest tells you that it will take fifteen hours and nineteen minutes to drive from Ft. Lauderdale, FL to Somerset, KY, they were just kidding again.

*  A five day break from the kiddos is awesome and much enjoyed, but those first tight hugs when you get back are priceless.

*  Children who swear up and down that they are not going to sleep before they watch the “ball of lights” can be easily convinced otherwise by placing them in a dark car for four hours.

*  The central time zone is a great place to be if you do in fact choose to keep your promise to wake them up in time to watch the “ball of lights.”  It falls at 11:00 here instead of midnight!

*  It takes two grownups thirty minutes and half of the living room space to unload the ten-days-of-luggage-for-seven-people and the new private toy store from two vehicles.

*  And finally, and most important:  WE ARE RICHLY BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE!!!  Thanks to all who made all of the above possible for us.  We love you and pray that God will bless you as you have blessed us.

 

 

Things I’ve learned….in the past year

*  Ok, so this one is a re-learn but I think it’s one we all have to learn over and over again:  never assume you know where you’ll be in a year.  This has been true throughout all of our married life as we’ve gone through so many changes and moves, but it strikes home again now.  As last year began, our whole family was focused on the health of my grandmother after she had her stroke in early December.  However, as this year begins, while Grandmother hasn’t recovered nearly as much as we would have wished, she is still here with us and relatively healthy, and it’s Granddaddy who is no longer here.  As last year began, our church was just barely beginning the journey of finding a pastor.  As this year begins, I think many people would have expected that journey to be over, but after a long and at times difficult year, it seems like the progress is non-existent.  As last year began, my dad was an owner in Hartland Equipment with no idea that as this year begins he would be a manager for Limestone Equipment.  Each year brings changes, it’s part of life.  But some years more than others seem to remind us that all our plans are in His hands, and His ways will be accomplished.

*  I’ve learned that God at times uses trials upon trials to accomplish His purpose in our lives, and it is a very limited perspective that says, “It’s too much, I can’t handle anything else.”  Lord, continue to use these recent trials to become greater while I become lesser.

*  I’ve learned that a determination to “hupomene” (“hu-po-me-nay” literally ‘remain under’) in times of trial as James 1 exhorts us to do will be tested in greater and greater degrees as the pressure of the trial weighs heavier and heavier.  It’s extremely easy to start to become confused with each test seemingly offering a way out, but once the confusion clears, the assurance that we are exactly where He wants us to be, trials and all, is extremely sweet and carries us through the next test or temptation.  Just because a situation is hard does not mean that God wants you to get out of it.

*  And I’m learning, ever learning, that without Christ, I am nothing.  I am learning, ever learning, that I need grace for every breath, for every situation, for every task, for every heartache, for every joy.  If I have done anything well in 2011, if I have accomplished anything, survived anything, gotten through anything, made progress in anything–it is solely because of His grace.  May I grow even more dependent on His grace in 2012.

Happy New Year!

All in a day’s script

All of the following were overheard in the same day among the Hall clan:

* Samuel was playing with my ipod. He said, “Mom, your ipod is wet.” “Samuel! How did it get wet?” “I ‘choo-ed’ on it.” “Samuel, you know you’re not supposed to put my ipod in your mouth!” “I didn’t put it in my mouth!” “But you said you chewed on it.” “No, I didn’t. I ‘choo-ed’ on it!” (Note: choo-ed and chewed sound exactly the same to a mommy who’s not following the three-year-old train of thought very well.) “I know! But you can’t put my ipod in your mouth!” Exasperated three-year-old sigh. “Mo-om! I….(I could see his wheels turning, searching for a way to communicate in a way his slow mommy could grasp)…you know…I bless you-ed on it!” Light bulb! “Oh! You sneezed on it?” “Yes!” Finally, Mom caught on!

* Leaving Fazoli’s, I asked the girls to pick up all the pieces of pizza and bread that Silas had thrown in the floor. They immediately began dividing up how many pieces each child would have to pick up. Samuel stooped down to help. As they stood back up to throw their pieces away, Clay said, “Did you get them all?” Abigail, in a very casual voice, said, “Yeah. Except Samuel ate his.” Sure enough, he was still chewing about five bites worth that had been on the floor way longer than the five-minute allotment!

* The girls got cookies at the end of Abigail’s musical theater class. Catherine gave half of hers to Samuel when she got in the van, but a few minutes later Silas started fussing because he saw them eating and he didn’t have anything. I asked Samuel if he was done with his cookie. “Yes.” “Did you have any left?” “Yes.” “Can Silas have it?” “Yes.” Pause, expecting him to hand it across the van, but he didn’t. “Samuel, can you hand the cookie to Silas?” “It’s hiding. It can’t come out.” “Um, please?” “It’s hiding.” This went back and forth for several minutes with Silas becoming more and more agitated before he finally said, “Oh, here it is,” and handed it across.

* When we got home and were trying to get them ready for bed, Catherine announced, completely out of the blue, “Mom and Dad, I need to confess. I have not been wearing socks with my boots!”

Regarding the lady at Walmart with six screaming kids

Clay directed me to his Facebook wall today to read a status and its comments.  The status reads:  “To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your buggy, you’re welcome.”  This status prompted a long list of comments, most of which were in agreement with the mindset of the status.  The status, along with most of the comments, were seriously disturbing to me on several levels.

First of all, the status implies the attitude of most Americans today:  six kids are too many.  Or maybe we should back up and say that five kids are too many.  Heck, let’s just be honest:  most of us think that four kids are really too many!  I’m not sure–maybe if the six kids had not been screaming, then would it have been ok to have six?  Our culture is so prejudiced against having more than three kids that it’s becoming ridiculous.    We have had so many comments on our family size, most of which are just people trying to make conversation in a way that comes out kind of irritating, but not downright rude.  But I hear conversations among others around me regarding the size of this family or that one that are completely critical and judgmental.  When did it become a negative thing to have children?  When did it become one of the duties of Walmart shoppers to be the judge of the other families in the store, regarding size or behavior?  Every couple has the privilege of forming their own opinions regarding how many children they would like to have, and God opens and closes the womb as He sees fit.  I would think that that decision is a weighty enough one that we would be content to only make it for our own family and not try to then move on and decide for others when they should stop procreating.  Let’s show some grace here, people.  If you have two children and think that’s enough, great.  But some of us have more.  Please cut us some slack.

Second, some of the comments took the status to a whole new level, addressing the issue of large families being on government assistance.  This discussion started here:  “ I am guessing she gets a check for each and every one of those kids-you are in KY.”  Now, I will be first in line to agree that too many people are on government assistance, and that the “assistance” is often used in very questionable ways, with food stamps or WIC paying for way more than just necessities.  However, let my family be the case in point–just because a family has “a lot” of children absolutely does not mean that they get a check from the government.  The government has never bought the first gallon of milk for my family and I know that to be true of several other large families.  It’s insulting to me that someone would look at my family or another family with several children and make a critical assumption like that on the spot.

Finally, a couple of comments were critical of the lady simply because her kids were screaming:  “I have 5, but I assure you they don’t scream in Walmart, nor did they when they were that young,” and “I can honestly say that that I never allow my 2 boys to act like that at Walmart or any places period………..not even at home…..”  I used to say things just like this.  Until one day it was my kids screaming in Walmart.  I have a hard time believing that the children of the people who wrote these comments never disobeyed in a store.  As a general rule, our children are pretty well-behaved, but we have had our moments.  Even out in public.  When you’re out shopping or at a restaurant and there are children going wild or crying, please do their parents a favor and give them grace.  Maybe those kids have been in the van for ten hours that day as they travel to visit family.  Maybe they’ve been sick for three days and this is the first time they’ve been out of the house all week.  Maybe this is the 8th errand their parents have drug them on that day and they are worn out.  Maybe they just came from a birthday party and are still keyed up.  Children are children.  They will not always be on their best behavior.  Yes, parents should be always training, always dealing with behavior that is less than socially acceptable.  We should, no matter how many children we have, teach them to be respectful and calm in public places.  But children will have days when they just don’t behave in the store.  (So do grownups, you know.  Ever been shopping on Black Friday??)  So regardless of whether you think the parent is handling their misbehavior appropriately or not, please just give them some grace.  If your kids are still little, they may be the one going wild at Walmart next week, no matter how much you swear that they never will.  For those whose kids are grown, since we tend to look backward with rose-colored glasses, my guess is even your kids did disobey in a store at one time or another.  Yes, it’s annoying to be shopping next to screaming children or to be seated next to the wild kids who throw food and are running all around the table at the restaurant.  But that in no way excuses the annoying critical attitudes of those who make judgments about them on the spot.

Ok, maybe this rant was not justified by one little Facebook status.  But my family has been the recipient of judgmental, critical attitudes on more than one occasion so this is a soapbox issue for me.  Somehow in our society, everyone is an expert and feels justified in making snap assessments of those around them with no background information and then moving on without ever realizing how destructive that is, not only to the people they are criticizing but also to themselves.  We are so critical of others, and once you fall into this habit, you will be annoyed everywhere you go because everyone around you will be doing things the “wrong way.”  There are many things that are right or wrong, black or white.  But there are many more areas of life in which we all have the freedom to decide for ourselves what we believe and how we will live. Where there is room for grace, give grace.  No one will do things exactly like you do, which means that no one will do things exactly how you think they should.  That’s ok.  Give them grace to be different from you.

The next time you see a woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, pray for her to have the strength to parent them well.  Pray that someone would come alongside her and offer her the respite she may need, or the mentoring she may need, or just be her friend.  Don’t say things like, “You’ve sure got your hands full!” or “Someone’s not happy!”  She already knows those things, and those comments in this moment will only stress her out even more.  Just move out of her way and let her get her shopping done without making things worse for her with your condescending attitude.  And please, for heaven’s sake, don’t throw condoms into her cart.