Enjoy our pictures from the Lexington Children’s Musuem, swimming at Nanny’s, swimming at our house (with a shampoo thrown in!), and just general summer fun.
Catherine the 3 year old
We actually celebrated Catherine’s birthday twice in one day, once at Grandmama and Poppaw’s and once at Nanny and Papa’s. These shots are from Nanny and Papa’s after swimming for awhile. We had a Dora party again, and the birthday girl requested “doughnuts and pupcakes” instead of a cake, so that’s what we had. Some of the swimming shots will show up in a different slide show. She was incredibly sweet at both parties, proclaiming every gift to be just what she wanted, and expressing very emphatic thanks without being prompted. She got the funniest look on her face when we sang Happy Birthday to her; I think she was a little embarrassed at being the center of attention but loving it anyway. Bless her heart, after watching her two sisters and her cousin celebrate birthdays all within a couple weeks of each other this past winter, she waited a long time for it to be her turn, and we tried to do it up right for her.
A couple of funnies and a tragedy (that could prove too graphic for weak stomachs)
Abigail loves sweet tea, which I’m sure relates not at all to the fact that I drank Wendy’s sweet tea by the gallon while I was pregnant with her. The other day at supper, she and I finished off the sweet tea that I had made. When I poured her cup, I warned her that this was the last of it and if she finished this and still wanted more drink, she’d have to pick something else. Of course she didn’t listen, finished that quickly and asked for more. I told her we were out, and gave her some choices. She got a distressed look on her face, and cried, “But I’m not empty for those things, I’m empty for sweet tea!” Bless her heart, I feel that way too sometimes.
Catherine got to attend Bible school last week, having made the requirement of being three by a mere 24 hours. However, since there were 60-70 three and four year olds, no adult was brave or foolish enough to try to corral them on the stage to sing at the closing program Sunday night. All day I had explained to her that Abigail would sing on the stage and Catherine would sit with Mommy and Daddy and see if there were any pictures of her in the slide show. Apparently this didn’t sink in, because when we got to church and dropped Abigail off at her class and kept Catherine with me, she said, “Mommy, I’m gonna sing real loud!” I explained again that she would sit with us and WATCH the kids sing, to which she replied, “But Mom, I’m a kid!!” I think the main moral of these two stories is that I’m wasting my breath when I try to explain in advance things that my kids may have issues with, because I explain and then they still have issues.
Now for the tragedy. Elisabeth, as many of you know, is a serious thumb sucker. Over the past week or so, her thumbnail literally started peeling off. A chip here, a chip there, until the whole top layer peeled right off just like a sunburn peels. This caused her no apparent pain. Then another layer started peeling. Then last night as she played outside, she must have bumped it because she came in with a big piece just hanging. I gently lifted it up to see if it was just going to peel off like the rest, and it immediately was obvious that no, this was indeed what was left of the top half of her thumbnail. The next hour was very…interesting. I was trying to stop the bleeding, she was trying to suck her thumb. I sat her in the sink and then the bathtub and she was quite happy to play in the water, jerking her thumb out of my hands every few seconds for a quick suck. She looked like a little vampire because it was still bleeding as she was sucking, so she was getting blood all over her mouth. She finally sucked the flapping skin the rest of the way off, and the bleeding finally slowed down and stopped. She acted in no way at all like any of this bothered her, except when I tried to hold her hand still to look at it and she wanted to play with the bathtub toys. It was hard to tell last night if it was sore or not, because she was playing so she wouldn’t have been sucking it anyway. But today it must be sore, because every time she puts it in her mouth, she doesn’t fuss but pulls it out pretty quickly. It looks horrible, with a little tiny fraction of a thumbnail and then a big red and purple mess on top. The nurse assured me that this is common, and I don’t need to do anything except let it heal as long as it doesn’t show signs of infection. My sadness is this: I loved her sucking her thumb, and I’m afraid this is going to prove to be the end of that. I know, I know the irrationalities of that, and if anyone sends me a comment that says much better to happen now than trying to break her of it later, I will be very irritated with the sender. The jury is still out on whether this is the end, because she’s still trying, and as it heals over the next day or so, it won’t be painful anymore. I’ll keep you posted. But for now, her little thumb is quite ugly and staying out of her mouth.
A quick update
For those of you who may have been concerned about the status of the rat droppings that rode around in the van with us on Wednesday, Clay took them into the office and had them analyzed, and they were old. There was no evidence of rats currently in the business he was servicing. Maybe you can sleep better tonight, because I know that has been weighing on your mind. 
In response
After reading some of the responses to my book review on Family Driven Faith, and rereading my original post, I feel the need to clarify a few things:
1) Let me just say that I still agree wholeheartedly with his philosophy as far as families worshipping together. Now, this does not mean that I will never send my kids to any kind of group activity with kids their own age, or that I will never let them be influenced by other adults. I’m not sure how Baucham’s church operates, but when Clay and I had dreamed about this type of church, we envisioned a church with age-integrated worship and even a few (not all) classes, yes. But we realized that age-segregated Sunday school or Bible study still has important benefits for all ages that should not be overlooked. And we also envisioned extra times when parents or other adults in the church would take the initiative to coordinate and chaperone kid and teen activities outside of regular church hours. These would be great times for children and youth to be together, being mentored by other adults, studying and discussing topics that are relevant to them at their stage of life, and just building good relationships. So I’m not saying that I want my kids with me and only with me all the time, or that I don’t want them in groups at times with other kids their own age talking about age-relevant issues. I’m sorry if it came across that way.
2) Another issue is that I don’t think people give kids enough credit. Abigail sits still through an entire worship service without making hardly a peep, and most of the time she has no clue what is going on. But she is learning things, as well. She is learning self-control, to sit still even when things are not entertaining to her. She is learning the songs and the routine involved with a worship service. And little by little, she’ll start to pick up things from the prayers and sermons as well. Then, when she’s in middle school, high school, or college, whatever age the kids join the adults at any given church, she won’t have to have a harsh adjustment to “big” church, which could leave a negative taste in her mouth toward worship services after spending so many years in a kid-focused service. If children are taught from the beginning, they will learn and act appropriately even if they don’t understand what’s going on. Now, some questions will always be raised here. One, what about kids who don’t come with their parents? In this case, a wonderful solution would be for an adult with no or grown children to step in and take over the role of training that child. Now that child has a mentor that could be very special to them, and that adult has a new and very rewarding place of service. Also, what about parents who serve during the worship service, like as musicians or in the choir? In this case, there could be a couple solutions. For us, we gave up the choir for the more important (in our eyes) task of training our children. Or one parent could sit with the kids while the other one serves. I don’t have all the answers for every situation, but I do know that a sad truth is, that in a lot of churches, at least the ones I’ve seen, “children’s church” does absolutely nothing to train children in worship. They may color, sing, eat snacks, play games, watch skits or puppets, but that does nothing to help them know what’s expected when they finally graduate to “big” church, and then they get a culture shock, and after years of the hour being focused on them instead of them focusing on God, it’s no wonder most older kids and teenagers think the worship service is boring.
3) Next, I think that I really lean more toward a happy medium, but one that is closer to integration than segregation. As I said in my original post, we are taking our kids to the worship service, but not to our Sunday school classes. Lots of good things can go on in children and youth Sunday school, depending on the teacher, and my children have grown to love their teachers each year. And it’s good for the adults to have a time for serious, in-depth Bible study, where topics may be discussed that are not appropriate for children. Also, we won’t expect our children to sit through the entire worship service until they are 4 or 5; right now, Abigail stays the whole time and I take Catherine to her class right before the sermon. She gets to participate in the songs, prayers, and offering, all of which are aspects of worship that a three year old can understand. And as I stated above, I think there need to be times, especially for middle and high school, and maybe even college, when they are in a group of peers and trusted adults and can discuss biblically the issues that are specific to their age, like modesty, dating/courtship, and being a bold witness on campus. So, I will say that I think a blend of integration and segregation would be my ideal. HOWEVER, I will unashamedly say that most churches are way too segregated. The church body, while not made up solely of families, is itself one big family, and if someone goes to church and never has significant interaction with anyone outside of his or her age range or life situation, then the family as a whole will suffer. We need elderly, middle age, young singles, young marrieds, college age, teens, kids, preschoolers, married with kids, married without kids, divorced, widowed, everyone mingling and interacting with each other, more than just at the occasional potluck meal. Each group can learn much from the other, and would become incredibly stunted in their spiritual growth if they remain in their own little bubble, as is the trend these days with all the special-focus groups that are popping up all over the place. Another point from which I will not back down, is that a full and separate children and youth ministry could make it way too easy for parents to delegate their responsibility of training up their children to the paid staff member in charge of that age group. There will be times in my kids’ lives, I’m sure, that they will find guidance, comfort, or spiritual support from adults other than their dad and me. And this is good. They need to have spiritual mentors and guides other than us. But who is to be the primary adult guide for them? We are. When my husband was a youth pastor, there were several instances of parents asking him to talk to their kids about spiritual or moral issues, and they had not even done so themselves first. They just asked him because he was the youth pastor, so that was his job, not theirs. This is a danger in a church that does not do everything they can to equip the parents to disciple their own children. As I said in the other post, I want my kids coming to me to talk first and foremost, and then hopefully the guidance that we give them as we’ve prayed over and invested in their lives, would then be supplemented if they choose next to go to someone else as well. But as issues crop up in my kids that I think need addressing, they will be addressed by Clay and myself. We may encourage a mentoring relationship secondarily, but it is our role first and foremost.
4) Finally, I will say that the church that I’ve described and have envisioned in my mind, does not exist in most places. I understand that a lot of this is in a dream world. The church I attend now is not like this, my home church is not like this, no church I’ve ever been a part of is like this. So we will adapt our ideals as best we can to the church we’re in at the time. In order for this type of integration to take place, the entire church would have to be on board. And since a booming children’s or youth or singles or college ministry is a huge trend and goal in church life today, I don’t really look for a big rise in age-integrated churches anytime soon. But it really gives one something to think about, doesn’t it? And for those of you who still just do not agree with me or my views, that’s perfectly fine. I’ve said elsewhere on this blog, that the beauty of Christian liberty is that we can disagree in love without barriers in our relationships. Feel free to think I’m weird for my views (frankly, sometimes I think I’m weird myself), just don’t let it come between us.
