I know your girls will benefit from attending the worship service by your side. It’s so important that they see the two of you and other adults worshipping. But, most worship services are targeted for adults and I’m afraid that children can sometimes be more of a distraction in worship services, for both their parents and the people around them. At our church, the children are in the worship service for 2 or 3 songs and are then dismissed to their own classrooms. I think this is somewhat of a happy medium.

This is just from my experience…I think it’s important to not underestimate the positive impact other christian adults can have on your children. Let’s face it, most parents aren’t doing their job and their children need other people, such as teachers (at school & church), and youth leaders, etc. Even the parents that are doing their best can’t be everything their children need. I’ve learned some invaluable lessons from people other than my parents. I have amazing parents, but man, I needed that time out from under their wings to learn from other people. And my involvement in youth group has shown just how much they are working. Now, if your definition of “working” is that these children remain in church and become mature christians, I can’t say that yet. But, I can say that they are learning, and worshipping, and making connections with people. Youth group is so vital. I used to think it was useless, because of my own selfish reasons. But, now I see how much teenagers need it.

I think it could be dangerous to make the church all about the family. While, I am still on the fence about most of these issues, I know that as a childless woman, I would feel uncomfortable in worship and classes full of families. And if those people without children were in their own classes, they would miss out on the opportunity to make relationships with mothers that could mentor them. And let’s not forget single people with no family connection in the church. They could feel excluded.

I’m just not sure it’s a realistic idea. I think in order for families to improve and grow, they might have to split up and learn on their individual levels. Children’s needs are not the same as adults. And adult’s needs are too complex for children. Someone would have to compromise when it comes to learning.

Anyway, I have swung the pendulum toward fully family intergrated church with no age-segregation, but have now swung it back more toward the middle. All because of ReThink by Steve Wright. You probably already read my book review on it. He does mention Baucham’s book and makes some really good counterpoints. I visited Wright’s church (Providence)recently and found it very reformed in their approach (they’re a founders friendly and 9 marks friendly church).

Providence does NOT have a children’s church, just so you know. And they push the ideology of “parent as primary discipler” more than any other church I heard (that is not like Voddie’s church). Yet they do have appropriate age segregated classes. This is the model that our church is currently following.

What is AMAZING about Amelia Baptist is that although we have age-segregated Sunday School, we have encouraged and defended the one sole family-intergrated Sunday School class. There are a couple of homeschooling families that are very much in line with Baucham’s way of doing Bible studies and so my pastor allows them to do so. Now that is unity in diversity!

You and Clay HAVE to read ReThink to understand the “third option”.