Her favorite new word

Taking a break from baby updates…

Some of you know that we are in the process of trying to convince Catherine that she needs to use the potty all the time.  (Her latest reassurance:  “Maybe when I’m a teenager I’ll put my messy in the potty, Mommy.”)  Our current system is to give her one M&M if she goes when we tell her, 3 M&M’s if she goes on her own, and if she’ll ever messy in the potty she’ll get a whopping 10 M&M’s!  This has presented an unforeseen problem, though.  Elisabeth somehow very quickly picked up on the fact that Catherine was getting something out of that dish on the corner cabinet, that must be extremely yummy.  So now everytime Catherine potties and loudly proclaims that I need to give her an M&M, Elisabeth comes running from wherever she is, runs to the corner cabinet, reaches up, and begins excitedly calling, “Emmy, Emmy!”  She’s even been known to jump up and down, as well as she can.  So we’ve had to instate a new policy:  Catherine is free to ask for her M&M’s, but she needs to come to Mommy and whisper!!!

Baby shower

With your fourth baby, you don’t really expect a baby shower.  I know I certainly didn’t.  But the ladies in my ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship) are pretty sneaky, and pretty caring, too.  Apparently they arranged this surprise shower with my husband several weeks ago.  We left church on Sunday, heading to take home the two men that had gone with us.  I rode in the very back of the van, between the car seats (a great spot for a very very pregnant person, let me tell you), but I was still able to hear Clay’s phone ringing a few times.  When we dropped them off and I moved back to the front, he told me that his friend David needed his help at the community center for a few minutes.  I didn’t suspect a thing at that point.  However, it took so long to get back to the church, that they were getting a little worried and called a few more times.  I was really starting to think they were getting a little worked up for no reason, and was really wondering what in the world was so important that they had to have Clay there right then, when we had three little kids that needed lunch and naps, not to mention my own hungry belly.  We finally got there, and I unknowingly helped him out by saying that I needed to use the bathroom, so that solved the dilemma of how he was going to get me inside.  In we went, and there they were.  They had lunch, cake, gifts, and friendship to share with us.  It felt wonderful.  Not just knowing that they were meeting some of our needs by providing diapers and other gifts, as well as the promise of meals once baby comes, but just knowing that they cared enough for us to do that for us.  Sometimes we still feel like “newbies” in our large church, like we’re just on the fringes.  But we’re developing relationships and friendships, and they are really doing their part to “one-another” us.  I am extremely grateful for the kindness that they showed to our family, and for the friendships that we’re building in our church.

38 weeks, 6 days

Just got back from the doctor, and we’re having a baby this weekend!!  With Clay’s job stress levels where they are, and realizing that we have a built-in three days off in a row this weekend (which will benefit KY family, too), we decided it was in everyone’s best interest to ask Dr. Schafer if we could go on and induce this weekend.  He said yes!  I go in Saturday morning at 7:00.  So save your guesses, it should be  August 30, unless I have an unusually long labor.  Our September baby has turned into an August baby, but that’s perfectly fine with me.  I don’t know how long it will take me to get back on here with updates as to gender, name, weight, and all that good stuff, but stay tuned!!  We’re having a baby!  AGAIN!!!

Only 5 years?

On Saturday, my mom called to remind me what I was doing on August 23, five years ago.  A week or so before that date, I went to work for the last day, Clay and I went on a mini-vacation to Chicago, and then on the 22nd and 23rd, we loaded up the U-Haul and headed to Louisville.  Our plans were for Clay to go to seminary, get done in 3 or 4 years, and head overseas as missionaries by 2008 at the latest.  Has that really only been five years ago?  Is it possible that we have lived as much life as we have, in only five years?  We stayed on track with the seminary plan until fall 2005, although we changed career objectives during that time, deciding to focus on remaining in the states and pastoring.  Summer and fall 2005 brought a lot of junk at our church that ended up with us leaving, moving, and basically being in a funk for six months looking for new direction.  New direction came early in 2006 when we began making plans to move to Indiana with the objective of being church planters.  Signed the mortgage in June, church plant completely fell apart in November, also involving a lot of junk that left us in funk number two.  Clay took the only job available, at Terminix, and we began a new period of questioning, “Why on earth are we here?”  Now we’re still at Terminix, still wondering what God is going to do with us, and getting ready to bring home the third baby since that moving day five years ago.  We’ve added family members and lost family members.  We’ve lost touch with old friends and began new friendships.  We’ve held strong to our core beliefs about God and life while tweaking how some of them flesh out in daily living.  We’ve developed philosophies of what church should be, based on our negative experiences.  We were still pretty much perfect parents this time five years ago, and now we know that we basically know nothing about parenting.  We’ve celebrated marriages and births and an adoption, and mourned loved ones that are no longer with us.  So much life in such a short time.  Makes me kind of scared of the next five years, but I know that God ordained each one of those days, and He already has planned each one of the upcoming days.  Thank You, God, for Your Sovereign control and Your gracious love in my life.  Five more years?  Bring it on.

Resting

The past few weeks, since we got home from Somerset, have been particularly difficult. All of the roofing “stuff,” knowing that Clay was behind at work, lots of drama and uncertainty about the future of Clay’s job, and the ever present wondering if we’ll have as much money as month, all combined with being very very pregnant and somewhat emotionally unstable while chasing three small children. Last week for some reason it all just got to me pretty badly and I was allowing myself to despair. Finally, I was able to remind myself of the truth, that I cannot control most of those things, nor does God expect or want me to. I can’t help Clay get caught up on his route. I can’t bring in any income (although I am responsible to be wise in spending), I can’t control who gets fired from the commercial branch at Terminix, and I can’t make this baby come any sooner than it is going to. So getting myself all worked up and worried about these things was incredibly foolish. I’ve been in this place before, realizing the folly of worrying and resting in the Lord, only to, days or weeks later, be right back where I started. But God reminded me again this weekend that my responsibility right now is to care for my girls, husband, and home, and to do so with love and grace and patience. None of the other stuff is mine to control. I was letting my joy be robbed by things that may or may not happen. I was forfeiting the peace that is mine in Christ. I was longing for rest, but scorning the only true rest, the rest that I already have access to, the rest promised me in Matthew 11: 28-30, one of my favorite passages of Scripture. God was already showing me this, and then in church Sunday, as the pastor began a series on dealing with adversity, we sang the hymn “Jesus I am Resting Resting.” It’s been awhile since I’ve sung or heard this hymn, and I just worshipped as the words ministered to my soul like a healing balm. Maybe the lyrics will minister to you, too, as you find yourself caught up in cares that really should not be strangling you like they are. Let go of what isn’t yours to control, examine yourself to make sure that you are doing all you should, then find your rest in Christ.

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.

Refrain

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

O, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Belovèd,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

Refrain

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:
Thine is love indeed!

Refrain

Ever lift Thy face upon me
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.

Refrain