The Wedding!!!

So for those who don’t know, we were in Somerset last week to celebrate with Chad and Britani, two very dear friends, as they became their own family.   In a moment of questionable sanity, Britani asked not only for me to be a bridesmaid, but for all three of my girls to be flower girls.  The planning went on for more than a year, and it all finally culminated last weekend.  As the day approached, I became more and more nervous.  It was worse than my own wedding!!  I was so afraid one of my girls would do something disruptive during the ceremony.  But, thank goodness, my fears were in vain.  The planning, the work, the dreams all came together in a beautiful, nearly perfect day.  The bride was beautiful, no one argued or got upset (at least to my knowledge), the decorations were finished and in place and perfect, and the little girls did the best that anyone could have asked them to do.  They were extremely cute in their dresses that Nanny made, three little flower girls and one little bell ringer.  Abigail played her part like a princess, which in her mind I’m sure she was.  Catherine was very deliberate with her petal-dropping, placing them gently on the floor one at a time as she walked down the aisle.  She still had a basket-full when she got to the front, and she stopped and turned around.  I could tell she was considering going back to drop the rest, so I whispered a rather frantic encouragement to come on and find her tape to stand on.  She came and I breathed a sigh of relief.  Elisabeth made her march much more quickly, came straight to Mommy and stood still, holding my hand.  I was again relieved.  But then she started swinging her basket around a little too much and dropped it, spilling the petals out onto the floor.  I held my breath.  The vows went on, and as they did, Elisabeth got down in the floor and began picking up the petals.  I caught Sheryl’s eye (the mother of the bride)–she motioned for me to leave her alone.  Elisabeth kept working, putting all the petals back in the basket.  She crawled a little further away.  I caught Sheryl’s eye again, she still said let her go.  More petals went in the basket.  Finally, she got all the ones that had spilled, but she started eyeing the petals at the end of the aisle runner.  She really wanted to start picking those up too.  I assessed the situation, and made a mommy-judgment call, picking up her basket and holding it.  She was on the verge of arguing with me, so I leaned down and whispered, “Do you want to go sit with Daddy?” who was seated at the front for just such a purpose.  She nodded, I motioned, she went, and I had another sigh of relief.  By this time Britani and Chad were pretty much married and I had missed the whole thing.  Elisabeth rejoined us as we left for the recessional, and with that, it was all over.  After some more pictures, we left for the reception where we partied and danced until 10:00.  My girls had an absolutely awesome time.  They jumped up and down for three full hours.  All three of them had a blast.  It was so fun watching them, and watching everyone else who had worked so hard to bring it all together getting to celebrate the perfect day, as well as the new family that had just been formed.

Congratulations, Britani and Chad!!  Thank you so much for letting us play such a special role in your special day.  We love you both and can’t wait to see what God has for your future.

On marriage (To Britani and Brooke)

Two very dear friends of mine are in that blissful stage of engagement–one still basking in the romance of a surprise Eiffel Tower proposal and one busily finishing up preparations as Saturday’s wedding inches closer and closer.  They are dreaming of dresses and flowers and honeymoons and houses, and looking forward with eager delight to settling down into newlywed bliss.  As I think of them and pray for them, I have a heart-full of things to say.  There are times in life when you just have to experience a particular situation for yourself to truly understand it, and there are times in life when you can prepare and be advised beforehand.  Marriage is both.  So here is my heart on marriage–formed through reading what Godly women have written, through the examples of Godly women around me, and through my own nine years experience.  I pray that my friends (and anyone else who may benefit) will read it, pray through it, discard what may be faulty advice, and find something helpful for their own new journey of marriage.

Dear Britani and Brooke,

The time of engagement is a time when everyone feels qualified and obliged to offer advice to the bride-to-be.  Unfortunately, that advice is not always helpful or even encouraging.  So I want to share with you from my heart.  This is not advice; this is just my heart on marriage–what it can be and what it doesn’t have to be, no matter what everyone else says.  I know that my nine years of marriage is a drop in the bucket compared to some couples who have been blessed with many many years together, but we’ve squeezed an amazing amount of life changes into our nine years, and it’s in those times that one grows the most and learns the most.

The first thing I thought of when contemplating what I wanted to share with you is this:  No matter what anyone says, the romance does not have to end when the wedding does.  I heard a thousand times before we were married, “He’s romantic now, but just you wait. That will all fade soon enough.” Well, of course things change; they were right about that.  But different is not bad, just different.  There may not be money in the budget for a night out every week anymore, or extravagant gifts, once you’re out on your own and paying your own bills.  But make the effort to keep the romance alive.  Save up and splurge every once in a while (we’ve enjoyed nights at a bed and breakfast, a trip or two just the two of us, a weekend marriage retreat, a night at the symphony, even a hot-air balloon ride)–but “romance” doesn’t have to be big and glitzy.  Nurture romance through little things like holding hands, buying cards, flirting, laughing at inside jokes.  Life will give you plenty of memories–keep pulling them out and reminiscing over them.  Don’t let bills and jobs and individual interests pull you in different directions to the point of becoming two people who live in the same house but have forgotten how they got there. Take the time and make the effort to be romantic.

Something else I heard often in the months leading up to my own marriage was wives complaining over different habits their husbands had.  The habits in question were just small, petty things, but they had escalated so much from years of resentment and irritation that they had become a major issue that was difficult to ignore and was actually eating away at the relationship.  Yes, although it may be hard to believe now and not that I’m wanting to pour cold water on the dreams of bliss you have right now, your prince charming will turn into a frog all too soon.  Not completely, but he will have those irritating habits, too, just like all those other husbands that women complain about every time they get together.  He will do things like stack the dishes all over the counter instead of setting them in the sink.  Things like nod his head and grunt in all the right places while you’re talking to him, and then have no clue whatsoever what you just said.  Things like forget to tell you until that morning that he’s made plans for you for that evening.  So you have a choice:  what will you do?  Be like all those other wives and just get irritated and complain until these issues begin to color your very view of your hubby?  You would do well to instead remember the times that you let his sock drawer go completely empty before you did laundry, times that you went to the grocery store and stocked up on all your favorites without even considering what special requests he might have, times that you just completely forgot to do the only thing that he asked you to do for him that day.  Yeah, he’s going to drop the ball sometimes.  But so are you.  Make up your mind to have an attitude of forgiveness, of not expecting perfection that no one could deliver, of choosing to love even when you don’t feel like it.

Although there is so much more to be said on marriage, for now I just want to touch on one more thought:  in a world where the very definition of marriage is crumbling as fast as the divorce rate grows, how can you ensure that you’ll be the ones to make it?  The ones to celebrate anniversary after anniversary, til death do you part?  It’s simple:  don’t forget the foundation.  Just as an architect would never design a building without a foundation, they are foolish who design their marriage without the necessary foundation, and the foundation of marriage is Jesus Christ.  What is marriage but a symbol of the love that Christ has for His own bride, the church?  Do you want a deep, lasting, fulfilling marriage?  Then love as Christ loves.  Follow the principles laid out in Scripture for a biblical, God-honoring marriage.  These principles are not hard to find; the Bible speaks very clearly on how husbands and wives are to live with each other.  Pray together often.  Share with each other what God is doing in your lives.  Ask each other how you’re doing spiritually.  Do not allow your spiritual lives to be a private, unspoken area.  Speak to each other of God and His faithfulness, of your struggles and worries, of how you need prayer right now.  If you’re struggling spiritually, be honest about it.  If God’s just been knocking your socks off with His love, share that with your husband.  Be a spiritual encourager to him, and be gracious to receive the spiritual encouragement he may offer you.  This is the foundation.  Without this, your marriage will always be one step away from crumbling.

Oh, there is so much more I would love to share with you about marriage, and probably will share more in the future.  But for now, I’ve shared some of what I pray for you and your marriage.  You both are such a blessing in my life, and I feel so privileged to be a part of your journey toward marriage.  May God be very near to you as a couple and as individuals as you become your own family.  May you seek Him as never before, and may you find Him.  Love each other.  Not just a warm, fuzzy, happy feeling love, but a sacrificial, selfless, giving-everything-you-have kind of love.  This love will be difficult, even painful to give at times, but it is this love that lasts because it is this love that is a picture of how Christ loves us.

Catherine Grace is 4!!

On June 15, 2005, we welcomed sweet Catherine Grace into the world.  She was and still is a ray of sunshine in our lives.  A sweeter personality would be hard to find.  She is soft-spoken, but commanding when she speaks.  She can get a whole room of preschoolers to be quiet and do exactly what she says.   She is a snuggle-bug, and requires several minutes of cuddling before she can really get going in the morning.  She has an incredible memory, probably from endless hours of keeping up with her older sister’s ever-changing personas and storylines.  She amazes her Kids 4 Truth teachers by reciting the catechisms and verses word for word every week.  She talks like a grown-up, and is gaining a reputation at church for being a 40-year-old in a 4-year-old body.  My granddaddy says, “She lived before.”

She bounces more than she walks.  She climbs whatever can be climbed.  She has bruises on her bruises.  At gymnastics, she bounces even while standing in line.  One of her greatest accomplishments:  learning how to “jump up and down on one foot” which she now does with the best of them.  She wiggles even in her sleep.

She is learning the things of God, and occasionally points out (usually when her sister is getting into trouble):  “Mommy, I’m pleasing God, not Satan, right?”  She loves to make up songs and do shows, and they almost always include lyrics like, “I love God and God loves me, yes He does yes He does.”  She prays for a new heart every night, and that is our deepest desire for her.

Catherine is, as I said, sunshine in our lives.  She brightens up our house.  She astounds us with her intelligence, her easygoing personality, and her sweetness.

Happy birthday, Catherine Grace.  I love you so much.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Jack Russell

As if an anniversary and great house news weren’t enough for one week, we decided to throw in a little more excitement to finish the week out.  Knowing that a large check was in the mail on its way to us, and that someone else was going to be paying our mortgage for awhile, we decided to go to Paducah to celebrate.    We headed out for a spontaneous trip to see Up.  We dropped some film off at Wal-Mart to be developed, then headed to the theater.  The popcorn was great, the movie was great, the kids were great.  So far, so good.  Now all we have to do is swing by Wal-Mart, pick up the pictures, head to a drive-through for supper, then head home.  Um…that would be way too easy.

I went into Wal-Mart while everyone else waited in the van.  When I came out, I saw what I was pretty sure was our van, but no one was in the front seat.  I headed that way, saw the kids inside, but no Clay.  Hmmm.  Strange, I thought.  I opened the door and asked Abigail where Daddy was.  “Over there, still talking to those people,” she said.  I looked and saw a group of six or seven people gathered in front of a car, my husband included.  As I was trying to guess what might be going on, I noticed that Clay was holding one arm kind of funny, with some white towels over it.  This is the point where my heart just about stopped, as I had no clue what was wrong but just knew that something obviously was.  I threw the pictures on the seat, called out a quick, “Stay in the van,” to the girls, and hurried across the parking lot.

When I got over there, Clay lifted up the towel for me to see several holes in his hand, dripping blood.  Adrenaline kicked in just in time to keep me from losing my popcorn.  No one exactly told me what happened, but from the excited conversation all around me, I figured out that a dog had gotten loose from someone’s car, lots of people tried to catch it, Clay succeeded, only to have the dog bite the heck out of his hand.  There were witnesses, including one kind man who sent his wife in the store to get antibiotic cream and clean towels then gave us his name and number should we need his report, and one nurse who directed us to the nearest ER.  The girl who claimed the dog was a nervous wreck.  She had actually been bitten too.  It was her parents’ dog and she was just dog-sitting while they were out of town.  When I joined the party, Clay headed back to the van and I went with the girl to get phone numbers, owners’ names and numbers, tag numbers, and vet numbers.  This took way longer than necessary thanks to the girl’s nerves, but finally I made it back to my poor hubby and confused kids.  Clay was already getting light-headed and nauseous, his body’s typical reaction to an injury, so we decided not to risk heading to Salem’s ER where I could take the kids home to bed.  We headed instead to Western Baptist in Paducah.

I dropped Clay off (it’s now about 9:00), then went to get some supper for my poor children.  We headed back to the hospital parking lot to wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Thankfully, the DVD player was still in the van from our last road trip, complete with a DVD, so the kids were somewhat entertained.  Catherine and Samuel both conked out, but Abigail and Elisabeth never did sleep.  At some point the hospital security called me (I didn’t have my cell phone so I had kept Clay’s with me) for the information so that they could file a report with the health department, standard procedure for a dog bite.  Then, we waited some more.  And waited.  And waited.  Around 11:30 I started to get worried.  He had been so white and nauseous when he went in, what if he had passed out or something and no one knew who to call since he didn’t have a phone on him.  So I moved the van closer to the door, locked the kids in, and went in search of my hubby.  When I found him, he had been looked at, but that was it.  They hadn’t done anything yet.  It would still be quite awhile.

At this point, I was going crazy sitting in the van with nothing to do, so I decided to drive around for awhile.  The children were all awake now, so we ended up at Wal-Mart, where we all trooped in at midnight for a potty stop.  (I was embarrassed to have people see me with all my kids wide awake at midnight, and I swore to never judge people who have their kids out late at night again.  Who knows, they might be waiting on their daddy to get stitched up so they can go home!)  I got a drink and a magazine and headed back.  But we had only been back about ten minutes when out he came.  I don’t know if the lady at the visitor’s desk took pity on me when I mentioned that I was waiting out in the parking lot with four kids or what, but right after I went in to see him, they finally got to work on him.  They did x-rays, which showed that the dog’s tooth actually chipped the bone of his middle finger, and stitched up two of the holes.  They sent him off with a prescription for antibiotics to stave off infection, and strict instructions to get rechecked in a couple days.

We finally got home around 1:30 a.m.  Boy, what a great ending to our celebration!  The icing on the cake was, although we didn’t have plans for Saturday, due to our pastor being out of town, on Sunday Clay had to preach both services, lead worship in both services, be the main go-to guy, teach a parenting class, and have choir practice, all without the use of his right hand.  All while dealing with the pain, swelling, and throbbing, not to mention having to tell the story countless times, and listen to quite a few other dog-bite stories.  Neither one of us was worth much today, after the weekend caught up with us.

So there you go.  There’s the details.  I guess right now I really am his “right-hand man.”  The worst part for me has not been having to take care of him, tie his shoes, or do all of the “kidwork”; it’s been having to be the one to remove the ticks from Elliot and clean up the garbage that the critters scattered all over the carport.  I will now have a new appreciation for all of the “daddy chores” that he does on a regular basis.

Our big news!!

First of all, I’m not pregnant!  Just thought that would be the first thing some people thought of when they saw this title.  No, this big news involves our Lafayette house and mortgage.  After weeks of nothing after nothing after nothing, everything happened all at once, which is usually the way God chooses to work with us.  We got a call from our Realtor last week.  She knew that we were pretty adamently opposed to renting, but she called us about a special situation.  There is a man she’d been working with whose house had burned.  He had rented one of her listed houses for awhile, but it sold and he had to move out.  Now he was staying at a hotel and having to pay to board his dogs.  His home insurance was paying for his housing, and he was waiting to work out some issues with his lot to see if he could rebuild.  She asked if he could rent ours in the meantime, while he waited and while we waited.  This seemed way less risky than just advertising for a renter, especially since he was paying a big security deposit and a big pet deposit, and since if he moved out suddenly, we’d be in no worse shape than we are now.  So, after making a couple of calls for input, we told her to go for it.  We got a contract, and sent it to them.  Then, when she took him to look at the house, he said that if his lot doesn’t work out to rebuild, which he’ll know within three months, that he’ll just buy ours!!!  It will probably be a contract sale while he builds up credit, but he will pay a large down payment that will most likely enable us to go on and buy this one!  Even if he does get to rebuild and doesn’t buy ours, he will most likely keep renting from us while waiting for his, which means our mortgage will be covered by his rent!  This is a huge burden off of our shoulders, and even though it’s officially temporary for now, it feels great!  Thanks for all the prayers thus far, and keep on praying that the rest of the details will fall into place.